Throwback Thursday: Times Like These

I wrote this blog in January of 2006 as we were on the brink of experiencing parent life for the first time.  We are now a couple of weeks away from having our 3rd little girl. It’s funny, really. When we were first married I wanted 3 kids. I was younger then, much more eager and energetic. After Addison, our second, I was A-OK with only two kids. But now, the excitement grows as Jennifer and I prepare to be outnumbered for the rest of our life. Reading back through this…I felt all the same emotions with Addison as I did with Ella. Now that we are just weeks away from “Baby Girl #3”; I’m experiencing them one LAST time all over again. The lyrics to the song are even more true for me today than they were 8 years ago. God is so very good!

I don’t really know how to put into words all that is going on in my head and my heart right now. My whole world is about to change. My life will never be the same. As the birth of my 1st child, a girl, these realities are hitting harder and harder with each passing.

I’m excited….to finally have a child of my own to love and to be loved by.
I’m hopeful….that she’s healthy and happy
I’m nervous….of getting it all right.
I’m doubtful….Do I really have what it takes to be completely responsible for another life
I’m afraid……I’ll make mistakes that will leave lasting impacts.
I’m sad………Because I will never have my wife all to my self ever again.

Will I ….be able to give her the love that she needs….be the father that she needs…continue to stay as close to my wife as I have been. It’s really scary as I think about it.

I’m not so much worried about the whole physical aspect of raising a child as much as providing the right emotional and spiritual care.

Even in the midst of all the doubts and worries, I am going to try my hardest and give it my all to be the father and husband that I need to be. I know I can’t be perfect and get it all right, but I ‘m going to try. She is going to know she is loved, she is going to know that she is important.

Just when I think I have life sort of figured out and getting sort of a routine, I have to start over and learn life all over again. New lessons of love, heartache, selflessness, confidence, and Faith.

I guess it’s times like these that you learn to live again. It’s time like these you give and give again. It’s times like these you learn to love again


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